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The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129

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The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129

Modern Wisdom

1 DAYS AGO
Modern Wisdom

Modern Wisdom

1 DAYS AGO
OverviewShownoteHighlightsTranscriptChaptersPins

Shownote

Dr Darby Saxbe is a clinical psychologist, professor at USC, and author. Do dads get postpartum depression? Mothers face enormous physical and emotional changes after childbirth, but fathers can struggle too, often in silence. So what happens to men when ...

Highlights

This podcast explores the often-overlooked psychological and physiological transformations men undergo when they become fathers, challenging traditional narratives about fatherhood. Dr. Darby Saxbe, a clinical psychologist, discusses how caregiving actively reshapes a father's brain and hormones, and why this transition can be both challenging and deeply rewarding.
00:00
Fathers lose about 1% gray matter in the cortex.
02:19
Fathers' parenting time has increased dramatically over recent generations.
11:27
Emotional stress makes delivery harder and more painful
12:57
Benefits some couples but challenges others
13:47
Couvade syndrome is more anecdotal than evidence-based
15:18
Having a baby won't fix relationship problems.
17:57
Becoming a caregiver creates 'dad brain' through practice.
24:18
Dad brain develops through intensive caregiving.
31:31
Non-involvement is a missed opportunity, not a fixed trait
33:48
Many non-residential fathers are still involved.
36:57
Bonding can occur at any stage if the father is present and engaged
45:15
True masculinity involves adaptability
46:44
Being a good dad is a manly act of guiding the next generation.
50:25
Brain volume loss recurs with a second child, but in different areas.
58:52
Socialization amplifies biological differences.
1:03:00
Stress contagion links partners' cortisol levels during conflict
1:11:51
Mental health is a family system.
1:15:29
Postpartum depression stems from an evolutionary-cultural mismatch
1:30:30
Self-optimization culture focuses on solitary activities, not on connection.
1:31:12
Fatherhood can reframe masculinity for the better.

Chapters

What is Dad Brain?
00:00
How Fatherhood Has Changed Over Time
02:18
What Happens to Men During Pregnancy?
08:18
Should Fathers Be in the Delivery Room?
12:57
Are Sympathetic Pregnancies Real?
13:47
What Couples Should Focus on During Pregnancy
15:17
The Real Cause of Dad Brain
17:56
The Top Behaviours That Trigger Dad Brain
24:18
Biology or Choice: What Makes a “Hands-On” Dad?
31:31
The Truth Behind the Deadbeat Dad Narrative
33:48
Can Fathers Bond at Any Age?
36:44
How Fatherhood Changes Male Hormones
38:50
Why Becoming a Father Is the Ultimate Masculine Role
46:44
Does Dad Brain Get Worse With More Kids?
50:25
How Daughters Change Fathers
53:19
Does Housework Ruin Cortisol Recovery?
1:00:48
Do Dads Experience Postpartum Depression?
1:03:43
Why Postpartum Depression Happens in Women
1:15:29
How to Support a Partner Through Postpartum Depression
1:18:55
The Worst Advice New Dads Hear
1:31:09

Transcript

Chris Williamson: I'm sorry it's taken so long, but merch is nearly here. This Friday, the 31st of July, at 12 midday central time or 6 p.m. UK time. The brand new Modern Wisdom merch goes live. Head to mwmerch.com now to sign up. You'll get first access. ...