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#1031 - Macken Murphy - 18 Harsh Realities of Modern Dating

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#1031 - Macken Murphy - 18 Harsh Realities of Modern Dating

Modern Wisdom

2025/12/11
Modern Wisdom

Modern Wisdom

2025/12/11
OverviewShownoteHighlightsTranscriptChaptersPins

Shownote

Macken Murphy is an evolutionary biologist at the University of Melbourne, a writer and a podcaster. Modern dating is in the middle of a cultural reset. Attraction science is evolving, men and women are changing how they show up, and everyone is trying to...

Highlights

In a world where dating norms are rapidly shifting, science is offering new insights into what truly drives attraction, compatibility, and relationship success. From physical ideals to evolving gender dynamics, this conversation dives into the data behind modern mating—revealing how perception often clashes with reality and how cultural changes are reshaping who we choose and why.
00:00
Women prefer a penis size of 6.3 inches for long-term relationships
05:55
About 27% of women said they broke up with a man due to penis size, mostly because he was too small.
11:30
No association between male height and cheating behavior in large datasets.
16:44
Preferred male body fat percentage is 13–14.1% based on DXA study findings
21:37
Women prefer men who appear strong and formidable, rooted in evolutionary psychology.
33:11
Male pre-selection can be a powerful cue for female attractiveness
43:20
Becoming a metal guitarist is a high-risk strategy: if you're the best, it's rewarding; if not, you double-lose.
48:51
Men are as put off by virginity as by high body count.
55:11
Preference for virgins may signal social maladjustment rather than virtue.
1:03:22
Appearance modifications like tattoos and chokers carry sociosexual signaling effects
1:05:49
Past casual sex behavior predicts future infidelity and relationship dissatisfaction.
1:13:48
A high body count may reflect sociosexuality rather than character flaws.
1:24:29
Smart men don't marry 'bimbos'—they choose equally accomplished partners
1:44:07
Use your current motivation fully—it won’t last forever.
1:54:28
Status-reversed marriages show early difficulties but long-term human adaptability offers hope.
2:03:44
People are attracted to the best-looking person who reciprocates interest.
2:06:42
Being more attractive can protect against infidelity, depending on partner's attractiveness range.
2:18:10
Men prefer emotional infidelity over physical, women the reverse, due to evolutionary costs.
2:32:21
The 'rich gay uncle hypothesis' is supported among the Fa'afafine in Samoa, where natal males show strong investment in siblings' children.

Chapters

What Do Women Really Want in Penis Size—And How Does Reality Compare?
00:00
When Ideal Preferences Clash With Real-Life Relationships
05:55
Ideal vs. Minimum Standards: Why We Can’t Have It All in Dating
11:07
The Science Behind Women’s Physical Preferences in Men
16:44
Why Formidable Builds Win in Evolutionary Attraction
21:37
Is the 'Dad Bod' a Signal of Fatherhood Potential?
30:22
How Rap Music Became a Battlefield for Sexual Competition
38:28
Beauty, Body Count, and What Men Actually Care About
45:33
Do Men Still Care About Virginity—Or Is It More Complicated?
55:11
Are Women’s Mate Preferences Really That Different From Men’s?
1:00:46
Can a High Body Count Predict Relationship Failure?
1:05:49
Does Early Sexual Experience Lead to Infidelity Later?
1:11:11
Do Men Feel Threatened by Successful Women?
1:18:55
Why Elite Men Choose Equally Powerful Partners
1:24:29
How Growing Into Your Identity Changes Who You Desire
1:29:56
When Passion Becomes Work: The Cost of Professionalizing Hobbies
1:35:10
Is Hypergamy Fading? The Rise of Women Out-Earning Their Partners
1:46:24
Adapt or Stay Single: How Obesity and Economics Are Reshaping Dating
2:00:58
Why Reciprocal Attraction Trumps 'Dating Leagues'
2:06:42
Why Being Too Attractive Might Ruin Your Relationships
2:15:23
Who Really Benefits From Polyamory—and Who Gets Hurt?
2:23:54
Could the 'Gay Uncle' Theory Explain Homosexuality in Some Cultures?
2:38:13

Transcript

Chris Williamson: Your area of expertise, penis size preferences. What's happening? Macken Murphy: Are we talking about women's penis size preferences? Chris Williamson: Yeah, sure. Macken Murphy: Okay, so slightly far afield of my expertise now. Yeah, ...