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Coming Clean

Overview

Shownote

Highlights

Transcript

Chapters

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Coming Clean

Hidden Brain

Feb 09
Hidden Brain

Hidden Brain

Feb 09
OverviewShownoteHighlightsTranscriptChaptersPins

Shownote

Last week, we talked with psychologist Leslie John about the costs of keeping secrets. Today, Leslie returns with a look at the psychological power of self-disclosure. She says the moments of oversharing that we often consider "TMI" can actually strengthen...

Highlights

This episode dives into the surprising benefits of vulnerability—how sharing our messy, imperfect truths can forge deeper bonds—and then shifts to the evolving landscape of modern marriage, where soaring expectations meet real-world complexities.
10:19
Self-disclosure activates the brain's pleasure centers, making it intrinsically rewarding.
23:40
Leslie John got a Harvard job and gained a mentor after accidentally insulting a faculty member during her interview
49:35
Modern marriage expects partners to be lover, best friend, and therapist simultaneously.
1:16:24
Amanda and her best friend have been hiking weekly since 2021, processing emotions and meeting emotional needs outside marriage, reducing spousal burden
1:22:46
Consensual non-monogamy has benefited his 42-year marriage due to a lack of sexual and romantic compatibility at the start
1:25:52
Research by Terry Conley shows no difference in relationship happiness and commitment between monogamous and consensually non-monogamous couples
1:32:16
As kids grow older, there's more time for the couple, and they've made satisfying investments in their relationship

Chapters

Why Telling Your Embarrassing Truths Feels So Good
00:00
How Saying 'I Messed Up' Makes People Trust You More
17:24
What Happens When Marriage Is Expected to Be Everything?
36:50
Can Merging Bank Accounts Save Your Relationship?
1:02:50
Why Some Couples Choose to Live Apart—But Stay Deeply Connected
1:19:38
Is Monogamy the Only Path to Lasting Love?
1:25:52
How Parenthood Can Break—and Then Rebuild—Your Marriage
1:32:16

Transcript

Shankar Vedantam: This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Growing up, I attended a Jesuit high school. I noticed that every weekend, my Catholic classmates and their families would line up and confess their sins to a priest. Some of those priests were ...