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Connecting with Kids Shouldn't Be a Performance

Janet Lansbury explores why genuine connection with children does not require entertainment or performance, and how parents can protect a child’s autonomy while navigating a relative’s awkward attempts to connect.
The episode reframes connection as attentive, receptive presence rather than eliciting laughter, imitation, or displays of ability. Janet explains how performance demands can make children feel responsible for sustaining adult attention, then offers a respectful way to handle a grandparent who repeatedly asks a toddler to perform: understand the intention, model a different approach, reflect both the adult’s request and the child’s interests, and trust the relationship.
07:24
07:24
Connecting should never mean performing
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11:16
Observe, listen, and receive
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17:49
Model the behavior you hope others will emulate
22:41
22:41
Children can stand up for themselves